A misty road

I am on a hazy path
With a fairly new question in which
No one was interested,
I go here & there
Do this & that
I am puzzled

To be honest,  I have no idea what I am doing
Or even why I am doing this?
Yet, I am looking for the answer
Desperately looking for the answer,
That no one knew before...
I read, write, analyze, make new plans
Even, do things that no one has ever tried 
Still, it's uncertain
Nothing is going smooth
I am lost

It's full with darkness
No one is around
None of the clues is useful
I am insane

I should be on the right track by now
But, how?
Who will help me?
No one knows the answer
They are counting on me
I am scared

Why I pick this question? 
Maybe it's extremely hard and too complex
So, no one was interested 
Now I can't turn, it's too late
I am bored

I am checking how others
Got their answers to their own questions
And trying to relate things
By hoping I can come out of the box, but
I am stuck

I go around and round
I am in the same spot for days
Sometimes, for months...
Will I ever see it? 
I am tense

Once I get the answer,
How can I accept it as the answer?
Will others believe it?
Finding the answer is not the end
Ohh no, I have to justify it as well...
I am pale

After all this hard time
What if someone asks
About practical significance?
I am speechless  


Methma
Feb 11, 2018

One wish

All I want is just one thing 
One minute 
One click
One photo, 
One pencil
One paper
One sketch.
But, how long will it take?
One month?
One semester?
One year?
Or never?

Dec 2017
Methma

That day

Nineteen years
And one day ago
You were laying down on the bed
Lifelessly
I felt your pain
My poor little brother...
I was helpless
It was painful looking at you...
I didn't want to leave you alone
Yet, I waved my hand to say bye
You didn't
I was miserable...
You were laying down with
Your pale little face,
No smile
No talk
No any movements
Ohh, my dear brother...
I grabbed your hand
And waved it
Back at me
To make it less miserable...
Suddenly,
You moved your hand
And saluted me 
The way we usually did...
I was so happy
I thought you were fine now
And left home
With a consolation...
I still remember
I played with my friends 
I even wrote a poem on my desk...
On my way back
I met one of my uncles
He was coming from our home
He turned it back to give me a ride
It was the first time I am
Having a ride...
I was excited at that moment
Yet, felt that something was odd...
Before we reached home
I realized that
Your salute
Was your goodbye tribute to me...

Methma 
Jan 9, 2018

Where are you?

When all of you are around
It's noisy and distracting
I don't mind it
I can concentrate on what am doing
I mean,
'When I want'...
It's warm and cozy
I can come and talk
Anytime I want
At least one of you is there
For me...
Even no one is here to hear me out
I am okay
Because I know
You guys are somewhere
Nearby
So I can talk later...
But, now
Almost all the spots are empty
None of my friends are here
No one will even come later
I went to your desks few times
They look clean and orderly
I have a strong feeling
Of emptiness...
Isn't this saying
I am lonely and
Bored with nothing???
Ohh no
At least one of you could come...
It reminds me
The loneliness I had
On my early days...

Methma
Jan 2, 2018

I and You

I know who you are
You know who I am
You pretend you didn't  see this
I pretend I didn't notice it
I tried, but failed?
You didn't, yet succeed?
You act harshly
I act softly
I think you are lonely
You think I am not?
You are all over
I am nowhere
I am already erased
You will be never erased
You are soft inside
I know it
I know you are arrogant
You know I like it
You have a wide smile
I like that as well
I am bit confused
You better noticed it
You are nowhere to be found
I am semi-insane
I always looked for you
You ever knew it?
You didn't come
I didn't see you from then
I miss you
You didn't miss me?

Methma
Nov 2017